In the marriage debate many people (including Christians) wrongly equate “Biblical marriage” with “traditional marriage”. There are many points to be made here, but let’s focus on an often-overlooked aspect of marriage in a very familiar verse, Genesis 2:24.
The Original Marriage
Following the uniting of Adam and Eve in the first marital covenant there is a simple statement given, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.” In the KJV it’s “leave” and “cleave”; it is without doubt covenant language.
Many make the point of monogamy from the exclusive nature of the words, which is appropriate. Many make note of the “man” and “wife” language to make a point of heterosexual marriage, which is also appropriate. But how often have you heard about the respective actions of “man” and “woman” in this verse?
Gordon Hugenberger, my professor for Theology of the Pentateuch and an expert on the Biblical covenant of marriage, made a point that I can only paraphrase, “This verse alone is enough proof to me that this account did not come from man but from God.” Why? Because it is so counter cultural. It is extremely non-traditional, even when it was written by Moses nearly 4,000 years ago.
It is non-traditional even when seen in the Biblical narratives. Why? Because it gives a picture of the man leaving his family and uniting to his wife. It’s the man that leaves, not the woman. Even in the Bible it’s the woman that leaves her family and joins herself to the man.
You might say that’s even to be expected from the context of Genesis. If the woman comes from the man then it makes sense that she would come to the man and be united to him, but instead it’s the man who seeks out the woman and leaves everything to cling to her. He gives up his own life for his bride. This is incredibly non-traditional.
Jesus’ View of Marriage
This verse would have been familiar to the people of God for centuries. It is quoted by Jesus in his admonishing of the Pharisees in Matthew 19.
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
– Matthew 19:3-6, ESV
Jesus affirms this view of marriage as given in Genesis. He even goes further removing Moses from the equation. In Jesus’ view it’s “he who created them” that “said” the quotation. It’s not just a statement of Moses, it’s a declaration of God.
But still in Jesus’ day men did not give up everything to be united to their respective wife. That statement remained just as counter-cultural as it was when it was originally written, as much as it is now.
The Great Mystery Revealed
Fast forward a few years and the mystery would be revealed by inspiration of the Holy Spirit. That word ‘mystery’ is not used in the New Testament as some kind of easy answer to difficult questions. Rather it is used to declare the true meaning of something that could be obscured.
Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, is talking about the relationship between husbands and wives in the church and the idea of the two becoming one flesh. And he leads into this point:
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
– Ephesians 5:29-33, ESV
Paul gives us the solution to the long-standing question. Why did God say a man would leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife? Because the institution of marriage is meant to point to the relationship between Christ and the church.
It was Christ who left his glory with the Father, made himself of no reputation, all to be united to his bride. The members of his church are members of his body, the body of Christ, two becoming one flesh, as it were.
The gospel of God is proclaimed from the very first page of His Word. We should expect it to be counter-cultural no matter what human culture in which we live, no matter what time. It is a great danger to assume that the “traditional” is always Biblical.
Tessera Sola 